I Am Me


I am always myself. I never once think I am special or different or anything. I believe that everyone has their own color which is special to themselves. No matter how much similarities you share with another, there will always be more things different. That nature in itself made every person is unique in their own.

I don’t live a hermit life. I socialize to some extent. In my time of socialization, I realize there is some distinct border, unseen, but you could sense that limit your interaction with some others. I sometimes sense it coming from people putting up their guards on me. Mostly because they think I am someone difficult to approach. I don’t blame them and often think it is just me.

I have mentioned in my other post before that there was a time where I blame myself too much when I can’t get along with people or when I sense that border coming from people directed to me while they are easily connecting with some others. I started to think what’s wrong with me and so many questions of why popped up in my head.

Although I had that kind of self-blaming mode in me, I still stay true to myself. I just slowly drifted away from them, those who didn’t want me in their circle. I actually know what they want, all the questions popping in my head, I have multiple answers to them. But the thing is I don’t want to do any of those ways just to make me fit into someone’s circle. I choose to be genuine.

All the long while, I no longer feel there is a need for self-blame. As I found that people are no different than pieces of puzzle. The ones with the right form will fit you a.k.a. get along with you. I have found several people where our puzzles match with each other. Although not so many, I’m still quite satisfied. They are the people who accept me for who I am, not even trying to change me. Just like I never try to change other people. I am just thankful for their presence in my life.

I am just glad that even though along the way it has cost me many people, I stay true to myself. I always think it’s better to lose others than to lose myself trying to fit in. When I come to accept myself, I see my own value and appreciate what I see in me. In other words, instead of winning others, I choose to win myself and it has made my life content and peaceful.


Along With The Gods: The Two Worlds – Korean Movie 2017 [Eng Sub]


The first time I knew about this movie is January 31st. Then I searched it on the cinema in my city in case it is still showing. I got my hope high to see it is still showing in other city but unfortunately the cinemas in my city didn’t air the movie for long. When I emailed them about it, they said they could organized the screening if I have large groups to fill the theater. How can I? I just wanted to watch this movie alone. So I could only wish for some websites to upload this movie to watch at home.

My wish was granted. On February 14th, I didn’t need to wait for long, a website has uploaded the movie. I watched the movie in the morning to noon of February 15th. I really wanted to watch this movie, Why? First, it’s because the genre, Fantasy, Action, Drama. I red the reviews on several websites and it mentioned about the stunning CG effects and a strong story. These are all we could need for a movie with that genres. Not to mention the strong casts have been known for their strong acting performances. I also read that this movie surpassed 10 Million viewers in South Korea alone in short amount of time. But although that’s great as a premise, I don’t really consider box office record as something that assure the quality of a movie.

So what about this movie that attracts so many viewers?

First, the story.

Story of the death of an ordinary fireman named Ja-hong (Cha Tae-hyun). Gang-rim (Ha Jung-woo), the head grim reaper, Haewonmaek (Ju Ji-hoon), and Dukchoon (Kim Hyang-gi) are assigned as public defenders to escort Ja-hong in the afterlife and represent him in 7 trials in 49 days to find out how Ja-hong lived his life and where he ought to spend the rest of eternity, heaven, hell, or granted for reincarnation.

The story is based on a webtoon by Joo Ho-min, Along With the Gods.

I was curious about the concept of 49 days after death in Korea. The first time I heard about it was through the drama 49 Days. And along the way, I watched several dramas nudged on the topic of the afterworld in Korean myth. But none really based the whole story in the afterworld. This is another reason I was so looking forward to this movie.

Before discussing the movie further, just watch the movie first here

I wanted to dwell further on the story of the movie. But because it is a recent movie which is first released in South Korea in December 20th, 2017, it’s not even two months old. So surely there are many who haven’t watched. I think I will stop here first. Then I will add more about the movie in a few days or weeks as to not spoil the story for those who haven’t watched.

Happy watching!



Don’t Generalize As Excuse!


Don’t generalize as excuse!
Some people generalize some negative actions saying everyone behave the same.
I beg to differ.
You’re just excusing your behavior and framing others.

One example is the saying that every men is bound to be attracted to several women. So some men use this statement to justify their actions of flirting with many different women. Is that true? So what about men who stayed loyal to their significant other. Are you saying they are not men? Truth is those flirty men are just not man enough to admit they are jerks.
Don’t be a coward and admit you’re wrong when you’re wrong.

Can’t you see there are couples out there that even when 10 years, 20, or 50 years have passed since they were together are still going strong and gazing at each other full of love. You are disrespecting such true love with your ill behavior.

Another example is doing a favor to someone just because of money or benefit they got to offer. By saying everyone else do the same, they’re eliminating the fact that what they’re doing is wrong. Then blaming those who couldn’t offer any benefit that it’s their fate to get the unjust treatment for not being born with power or wealth. Isn’t that ridiculous? Many don’t make wrong become right.
Just like Evil doesn’t make Kindness disappear.

You can lie to others but what about your conscience? Or perhaps your conscience is dead? Well, when you die, you just have to go to the after world to make your statement that what you’re doing is right. Then let’s see what will be the result of your trial.

Although the world is full of injustice, not everyone behaves immoral. Some people are trying hard in their lives, abiding the rules, staying good, despite the temptations. It’s not fair to them. So generalizing bad behavior as something done by many is just failed excuse. It’s still wrong and never will be right. Stop fooling yourself!


Match or Not Match, That is The Answer


Match or not match

After series of experience, I realize you don’t need to blame yourself or think you’re not good enough when you found someone who doesn’t match with you.

When A doesn’t match with B, while both of them are friends with C separately, Why A and B don’t match? Who’s fault is that? Should you blame A or B? Well, there’s no need to. No one is to blame. We are not made for this world to match everyone anyway.

Let’s see this from case to case.
A.1. Match
You brought just little souvernir from your trip, she said “oh you don’t need to,” she appreciated and showed gratitute.
A.2. Not match
She might just say “what, it’s just this?” while ignoring the souvenir. Your gesture is left unappreciated even when you have thought of her. So what to do, you’re feeling hurt, aren’t you? Sure. But keep it short. You just don’t match her. Next time? Just don’t bother buying her souvenir ever again.

B.1. Match
The fact you can’t cook won’t matter. She might just say: “I’d prefer to cook alone. You could just help me with the dishes.” So both are mutually helping each other.
B.2. Not match
Even when you have gone out of your way to cook something for her and serve the meal to her, she will say “oh, I don’t like this” she will nitpick your cooking and “not at all” feel grateful for your kind gesture. Which will remind you, why wouldn’t she cook for herself instead? So next time, don’t bother cooking for her ever again. Whether she wants to eat or not is not your concern.

When you match with someone, seeing your messy house will make her say “ah, it could happen, you might be too busy and tired to start cleaning.” Understanding you is the first thing she would do instead of blaming and nitpicking.

Several people come and go in your lives but only some are destined to stay. The ones who stay are the ones who match with you. The ones who leave just serve as lessons for you.
So don’t feel discourage. For people who love you, just the way you are is all they need. For people who don’t love you, your best will never be good enough.


I’m not angry, just upset!


Upset vs Angry

Upset is different in meaning from angry. If you look through their meanings in the dictionary, you will find that
Angry contains the strong feelings of hostility and displeasure.
Upset contains the emotions of disappointment, worry, unhappiness, sadness.

Upset is a more light feeling that we often feel in our daily interaction with people. Whilst anger is something more bubbling inside us and sometimes explode when we can’t contain it. So angry is not an emotion we often experience.

Between those two feelings, let me tell you more about my experience of being angry.

Like my mom, I used to be someone who never got angry. Even when the ordeal is not sided with me or someone do me wrong, I would be sad, but not angry.
A close friend of mine once asked me of something that made her angry on why I wasn’t angry. On different occasion, another friend said the same remark saying if that occasion happened to her, She would get angry and why didn’t I. At both time I honestly wasn’t feeling angry and just thought there was no need to get angry about it. So it went and it went.

Being angry is not something I can be proud about. Often time I consider I would be a person to regret it much if I get angry so I don’t get angry often. Because I don’t get angry often, I still remember the times when I get angry, Once in high school, Twice in university, Four times in the first five years of working, Once during my master study, and Another four times after I started working again. So I guess it’s Twelve in total. But seriously, in each of those twelve occasions it doesn’t feel good to be angry. So I always hope there will be no further need to get angry about.

As someone who is more in the quiet side, I don’t usually blow up when I’m angry. I often hold the anger feeling inside first, but when I could no longer hold it in then it shows. Among the twelve occasions I remember getting angry, I showed my anger on 8 of them. The other four, I managed to hold them in somehow. I honestly don’t know which one is better, to hold in or let the feeling show.

In Islam, it is advised not to get angry. There are even ways to be taken in order not to get angry. While in psychology, it is said getting angry is sometimes needed and repressing it is not good for your health. In my experience, I see sometimes getting angry is needed to let someone know that a certain action is intolerable so they would not do such action again to you. Although it should be avoided to let the anger control yourself that you could just end up hurting people to ease yourself instead of making your points taken. So maybe you could say that as a controlled anger.

But honestly, I would prefer we as humans just get along well and not hurting each other so there’s not even a need to get angry about. If we think before we speak, we consider other people first before we take action that could harm them, and everyone respect each other, wouldn’t our world be more beautiful?


An Affair is A Challenge to God


Marriage is a sacred relationship between a man and a woman under God’s Blessing.
Sitting on the day of the marriage, a man take a woman as his wife under a promise that he will treat her well.
That he will become her protector. In Islam, the vow in marriage is classified as miitsaaqan ghaliizhaa or a great, serious, and powerful covenant. A promise of marriage, its editorial shows the strong promise just like the promise that Allah took from the prophets. So we can feel how serious the promise of marriage is.

In that note, having an affair means you’re challenging God. Breaking the promise you made in front of God.
Are you confident you could win? When you live in this world under God’s Blessings.

Everything we do, God Knows.
People who are having an affair act as if no one knows their misconduct. But they forget that everything they do, God Knows. The angels are witnessing and writing everything they do. They feel safe thinking that the spouses don’t know but what about God, do you feel safe from God Knowing?

God Knows Everything.
Even every hidden feeling we have, God is Aware.
When you started to have feelings for the other person, not your spouse, God already Knows. You should have asked forgiveness to God at that time and stopping yourself to get any further than that.

Why are you not afraid of God?
While everything of us belongs to God.
We live in this world, nothing actually belongs to us. Our breath could be gone in a second. Body, soul, wealth, health, are all blessings from God that God Could Take any second. So stop thinking and behaving as if you don’t know all this, or as if you could live forever.

Respect yourself, respect others.
The happiness and thrill you got from an affair is short-lived. You are disrespecting yourself, your spouse, your partner in crime/affair, even your children and other families. Everybody wants happiness but it is something that should be worked out between each other. Running away from issues won’t solve anything.

This life is short.
Do your best to fill it with meanings and good things. It won’t be long till we must leave life.
And To God we shall all return.
Where we will be asked on all things we did in the living world.


Mengagungkan Allah SWT


Tiada satupun yang pantas diagung-agungkan melainkan Allah SWT.

Mengagungkan manusia pada akhirnya kecewa. Entah itu dikhianati, dilupakan, atau ditinggalkan (hidup ataupun mati).

Pernah dengar kan cerita orang yang sudah dibaikin malah menjahati?

Atau orang yang sudah pernah ditolong sama sekali ga ingat akan itu?

Tak ada yang kekal di dunia ini. Hubungan antar sesama manusia pun begitu.

Mengagungkan harta pada akhirnya pun celaka. Merasa tak pernah cukup, diperbudak oleh harta, masuk penjara karena korupsi, atau bersengketa demi harta.

Begitu pula halnya dengan tahta. Merasa was-was jabatannya direbut, atau sikut kiri sikut kanan demi mendapat jabatan, sogok uang tak kira-kira demi dapat posisi, untuk kemudian menderita post power syndrome saat jabatan tak lagi dikuasai.

Pada akhirnya, tak ada satupun di dunia ini yang pantas untuk dipuja-puja.

Kita semua akan kembali kepada Allah SWT tanpa membawa apapun.