My Life My Journey

It's All About My World

The Many Facets of Me 14/04/2017

Filed under: About Me — hifni1985 @ 8:09 pm
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There are many conflicting sides of me.
I am diligent and lazy,
talkative and quiet,
organized and messy,
both logical and emotional,
caring yet ignoring,
smart but foolish,
strong but weak,
clean but dirty,
bold and shy,
both confident and doubtful in myself.
have both feminine and masculine traits,
independent but want to depend on someone,
thoughtful but sometimes unsympathetic,
could not hate but sometimes full of hatred,
forgiving but holding grudge,
adventurous yet Scaredy-cat,
sometimes rarely worried, sometimes full of worries,
sometimes kind, sometimes not,
have strong memory but sometimes forgetful,
full of suspicions but try to believe in goodness of others,
full of interests but sometimes not having interest in anything,
difficult to be approached but sometimes have an open mind to accept,
both visual and auditory,
right brained and left brained,
(I could list these all years)
That’s why I love to learn about myself.
I am like a Rubik’s cube with no matching color.
So you can’t solve me.
And it could take forever to know me.
Because even I always find something new about myself.
People always try to label someone else, but I often found a little bit of myself in someone else.
Even when I do a personality quiz or psychology, no analysis could be 100% correct, and I could relate to some points on other results. Choosing choices in those quizzes sometimes was not easy because there could me more than one options I could relate to or sometimes there was none but I had to choose one.
There are too many facets of me.
But oh well, like a gemstone, the many facets could increase its value.
So there’s no need to feel discourage.

Disclaimer: image is not mine, all rights go to the respective owner.


How I Became Independent 04/03/2017

Filed under: About Me — hifni1985 @ 12:09 am
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I am not independent by choice.
Fate led me to be independent.
But it’s true that originally, I am a person who has a hard time asking for help so I’d rather do everything by myself first.
But back then, I used to have my mom who always help me go strong.
She gave me strength to go through a lot of things.
She was also the one I can always rely on.
But then, God had another plan for us to separate.
My mom passed away…

At that time, it seemed like the whole world was crashing down on me.
And soon after I got to know how scary the world is.
Since my mom who used to protect me was no longer beside me.
I had no one to rely on, but I kept carrying on.
I greeted my teeth and swore to myself that I won’t ask for help from those, the families who kept their hands in their pockets instead of reaching out of hands for me to hold.
So I kept that promise and along the way I became an independent woman.

Now, I have all the benefits from being independent.
Nobody in the family can order me on what or what not to do.
They have no say in the path I choose for myself.
Therefore I no longer hate them.
Because I realize that it is partly thanks to them, I get to live how I want.

Being Independent is a bliss.

Disclaimer: Picture is from internet and not mine.


Once Before… 01/03/2017

Filed under: About Me — hifni1985 @ 11:16 pm
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Once before…
1. I was belittled because I was poor.
2. I was sneered at because my lack sense of fashion.
3. I was pitied because I always seem to do things alone.
4. I was misunderstood because I think and do things differently.
5. I was avoided because they find me hard to get along to.
6. I was hated because I defy their ways of thinking.
7. I was abandoned yet I don’t know why.
But behind all that,
1. I never think wealth is something you use to measure someone’s worth.
2. I never dress to impress someone, I only use what’s comfortable or available for me. The good thing is it saves some money.
3. It takes courage to do things alone and not everyone is able to do that.
4. I am different, I have my own way of things and I stood by my conviction.
5. It was hard also for me to get along and It used to make me sad but now I know everything has its own time and reason, it might not work for now but it might change latter, or it might not work at all but it doesn’t really matter.
6. I don’t force my way of thinking to anyone so why must they force their ways of thinking to me.
7. It hurts me to think that maybe I’m not good enough that’s why it happens but now I realize that they just love themselves more and I should do the same. I just need to stand tall, stop trying, and move on.

Disclaimer: Picture is from internet and not mine.


The Advocate: A Missing Body – Korean Movie 2015 [Eng Sub] 28/02/2017


At first, I just wanted to watch investigation movie, but was not so expectant since I didn’t quite like A Hard Day, the main actor’s previous movie. But this movie is a gem. The story is solid and nothing foolish, combined with strong acting by the actors and a plot twist so it made none of the scene felt boring or useless. I recommend this movie.


Cast :

Lee Sun-kyun as Byeon Ho-sung

Kim Go-eun as Jin Sun-min

Im Won-hee as Office manager Park

Jang Hyun-sung as Moon Ji-hoon


Summary :

Byeon Ho-sung is a hotshot lawyer at a big law firm; with a nearly 100% win rate, his life motto is “Winning is justice, and I am the winner.” After Byeon wins a lawsuit for a large conglomerate pharmaceutical company, its chairman Moon Ji-hoon asks him to defend Moon’s chauffeur Kim Jeong-hwan, who is suspected to have murdered a female college student named Han Min-jeong. A pool of blood was found at the crime scene where Kim was apprehended, but a body has not been found and there are no witnesses.

Kim insists that he and the victim were dating, but passionate rookie prosecutor Jin Sun-min believes that he was stalking Han. Just when Byeon is close to successfully contradicting Jin’s claims and winning the case as he always does, his client abruptly confesses in court on the last day of the trial that he killed Han. Furious at his humiliation and even accused of tampering with evidence, Byeon uncharacteristically embarks on a search for the truth and teams up with Jin. But as he digs deeper, Byeon begins to uncover clues that may link the case back to Moon.


Watch the movie: The Advocate: A Missing Body


Disclaimer: Picture and Summary is not mine, all rights belong to the original sources.


Thank You, Friends! 18/02/2017

Filed under: About Me — hifni1985 @ 8:56 am
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For me, a friend is still a friend even though we rarely talk to each other or haven’t met for years. It’s not quantity but quality of the relationship that matters to me. The friends that I hold dear to my heart, even though years have passed, they will still occupy that place in my heart.

As I’m pretty much a private person, I know it’s not easy to get close to me in the first place. Many have even feel scared of me and knowing that I’m a hard to approach person, choose to stay away from me altogether. They are not wrong. It’s their choice.

But some people came to me knowing that and try harder until I warm up to them and we get to know each other pretty well. I really appreciate them for that.

Some even said to me that they have misunderstood me from my first impression and now as they get to know me, I’m nothing like they thought of me at first.

I, have no control over what people think of me, but I stay true to my nature. I don’t change just to get people to like me. And so, people who like me, like me for who I am, both in weakness or strength.

So for those of you who have become my friends, I would like to say thank you.

Let our friendship flourish, even as time passes by.

Disclaimer: Picture is not mine, all rights belong to the original sources.


Seeking a Soulmate in Marriage 17/02/2017

Filed under: About Me — hifni1985 @ 6:43 am
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I seek a soulmate in marriage, a life long partner, a friend, a lover, someone I can have deep conversation with. Together we’re understanding and accepting, with genuine care for each other.

So I take my time and do not rush a marriage.
As I’m still single now, isn’t that simply mean I just haven’t found the one?
I believe in destiny, everything will happen in the right place and time.

I don’t have a distinct criteria, and maybe “he” we don’t know who, also don’t set a criteria, so it takes more time for us to recognize each other.

“People will get scared if you still pursue higher education.”
I’m not superficial, I don’t put a materialized criteria, like social status, money, car, job, education level, etc for my husband-to-be.

While education for me is just like a hobby. It’s not something to determine someone’s better or worse, and it should never be used for that. It’s just how some societies think. But I always believe everyone is equal.

“You’re already past 30. Women should get married already at that age.”
Still I won’t be rushing. What good will come out of it?

Asking me now when I will get married won’t change anything since I don’t have a partner, yet.
Asking me to open my mind, well, I’m actually a very open minded person if you get to know me.
Asking me to open my heart, I’m sorry, my heart is not a free way pass. I’ll share my heart only with the one I love.

Still I appreciate the concern.

But don’t worry, I’m learning to be happy by myself, and when I found the one I get to love sooner or later, we’ll be even happier together.



Disclaimer: Picture and Emoticon is not mine, all rights belong to the original sources.


Jealous of Knowledge 14/02/2017

Filed under: About Me — hifni1985 @ 9:08 pm
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I’ve been saying that I never get jealous of someone with wealth or someone with power or someone with popularity, but I’m always jealous of someone with knowledge.
Back then when I was a student, I never felt jealous of some students who drove to school while I walked nor I felt embarrassed walking in old socks and shoes to school and I even stood proud against a student who mocked me about it.
But when someone solved a math problem better than I did, I admired and was jealous at the same time. And then asked her how she solved it.

Even now I’m still the same.

So I never chase after money or have any ambition for some positions in an office, or wish to become a celebrity.
But I always want to learn.

Learning is like a thirst I can’t seem to fulfill no matter how much water I drink.

And I’m not a genius or anything but I always believe there’s no knowledge in this world you can’t learn. As long as you put efforts, you can do it no matter how long it takes.


Disclaimer: Picture is not mine, all rights belong to the original sources.


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