I am always myself. I never once think I am special or different or anything. I believe that everyone has their own color which is special to themselves. No matter how much similarities you share with another, there will always be more things different. That nature in itself made every person is unique in their own.
I don’t live a hermit life. I socialize to some extent. In my time of socialization, I realize there is some distinct border, unseen, but you could sense that limit your interaction with some others. I sometimes sense it coming from people putting up their guards on me. Mostly because they think I am someone difficult to approach. I don’t blame them and often think it is just me.
I have mentioned in my other post before that there was a time where I blame myself too much when I can’t get along with people or when I sense that border coming from people directed to me while they are easily connecting with some others. I started to think what’s wrong with me and so many questions of why popped up in my head.
Although I had that kind of self-blaming mode in me, I still stay true to myself. I just slowly drifted away from them, those who didn’t want me in their circle. I actually know what they want, all the questions popping in my head, I have multiple answers to them. But the thing is I don’t want to do any of those ways just to make me fit into someone’s circle. I choose to be genuine.
All the long while, I no longer feel there is a need for self-blame. As I found that people are no different than pieces of puzzle. The ones with the right form will fit you a.k.a. get along with you. I have found several people where our puzzles match with each other. Although not so many, I’m still quite satisfied. They are the people who accept me for who I am, not even trying to change me. Just like I never try to change other people. I am just thankful for their presence in my life.
I am just glad that even though along the way it has cost me many people, I stay true to myself. I always think it’s better to lose others than to lose myself trying to fit in. When I come to accept myself, I see my own value and appreciate what I see in me. In other words, instead of winning others, I choose to win myself and it has made my life content and peaceful.