First Time Learning Microsoft Office


When I entered university, I knew nothing about Microsoft Office. As I came from a high school where there was no proper class for learning computer and I didn’t have personal computer either, Ms Office was a new thing for me.

It just so happened at that time, as a new student, we were given a task by the senior in the university to write a paper so I rented out a computer at the rental service and learn Microsoft Word for the first time. Honestly at that time, I didn’t know what to do. There was a peer renting out a computer for the same purpose at the same time with me so I pay attention to what she did and asked her many questions. But then she seemed disturbed and because I am a sensitive person, I felt like I shouldn’t ask her any more question. That’s the type of person I am. She originally was a nice person and I didn’t blame her for feeling disturbed as I was indeed a disturbance to her task. Once I’m feeling rejected though, I would never ask any favor to the person, so I tried learning Microsoft Office by myself through trial and error. I observed my surroundings as well.

Day by day, as I kept practicing and doing trial and error, my skill in Microsoft Office improved. Maybe Microsoft Office is quite a user friendly program so we could catch on fast in learning it.
But nevertheless I am thankful to that friend who felt disturbed by me because it encouraged me further to learn it by myself.
I realize there is nothing we couldn’t learn if we put our mind to it.

Be Myself


There was a time back then when I was younger that I regret I couldn’t be like someone else.

Then as time goes by, I learned to accept myself and think out of the box, that nobody is perfect and what matters is to be comfortable in your own skin.

Right now, there are still many people who told me to change this and change that, become more like this and more like that but I just want to be myself.

I now think that just having few people in my surroundings who like me for who I am is still better than having plenty of people but have to constantly change myself to please them so they would not leave.


Match or Not Match, That is The Answer


Match or not match

After series of experience, I realize you don’t need to blame yourself or think you’re not good enough when you found someone who doesn’t match with you.

When A doesn’t match with B, while both of them are friends with C separately, Why A and B don’t match? Who’s fault is that? Should you blame A or B? Well, there’s no need to. No one is to blame. We are not made for this world to match everyone anyway.

Let’s see this from case to case.
A.1. Match
You brought just little souvernir from your trip, she said “oh you don’t need to,” she appreciated and showed gratitute.
A.2. Not match
She might just say “what, it’s just this?” while ignoring the souvenir. Your gesture is left unappreciated even when you have thought of her. So what to do, you’re feeling hurt, aren’t you? Sure. But keep it short. You just don’t match her. Next time? Just don’t bother buying her souvenir ever again.

B.1. Match
The fact you can’t cook won’t matter. She might just say: “I’d prefer to cook alone. You could just help me with the dishes.” So both are mutually helping each other.
B.2. Not match
Even when you have gone out of your way to cook something for her and serve the meal to her, she will say “oh, I don’t like this” she will nitpick your cooking and “not at all” feel grateful for your kind gesture. Which will remind you, why wouldn’t she cook for herself instead? So next time, don’t bother cooking for her ever again. Whether she wants to eat or not is not your concern.

When you match with someone, seeing your messy house will make her say “ah, it could happen, you might be too busy and tired to start cleaning.” Understanding you is the first thing she would do instead of blaming and nitpicking.

Several people come and go in your lives but only some are destined to stay. The ones who stay are the ones who match with you. The ones who leave just serve as lessons for you.
So don’t feel discourage. For people who love you, just the way you are is all they need. For people who don’t love you, your best will never be good enough.


God is The One



After my mom passed away, God is the only one I count on.

I realize God is the one who loves me the most.

My fear, my worry, my feelings, God knows everything.

God’s blessing are enormous that I lose count.

I am always grateful to God for everything.

As weak as a human, I am often strayed from what I should do.

My gratefulness sometimes isn’t shaped well.

Taken God’s Love and Mercy for granted, I often forget the way.

But I always know that,

My life is for God to take.

All my belongings are gifts from God.

I came from nothing and shall return to nothing.

God’s rage is what I fear the most.

I am always thankful for God’s guidance and reminds.

I am thankful for this life.


My Responsibility to be Happy


I have the responsibility to be happy, for my mom and for myself.

So I have decided not to let anything or anyone made me feel otherwise.

Well, like I said it will always be a long life struggle.

But I’m starting to get the knack of it.

I used to care so much about what people think, say, or do,
that It influenced me for days, weeks, months, or even years.

Now I try to focus on myself more no matter what people think, say, or do.

And It actually works.

Now even if I’m upset, sad, or down, it doesn’t stay for long like before.

Just remember that what you think of yourself, what you feel about yourself, and
what you do for yourself is what matters the most.

And The Only One you need to be in favor of and to seek help from is Allah SWT, The Almighty.

Then Life becomes simple.

Disclaimer: Picture is not mine, all rights belong to the original sources.

What I Need to Talk to My Mom If She Was Alive


As a sensitive person, socializing with other people is sometimes hard. People aren’t always accepting and sometimes are filled with judgements. Some people hurt other people easily and some use others for their advantages without care.

When Mom was alive, I used to say to myself every time someone wronged me or my feelings got wounded by others, and then cried back home, that it’s okay, I had Mom with me. Mom loved me very much and it was all that mattered to me. Then I rose again without hating people who wronged me. I was so innocent back then.

Years after Mom was no longer with me, I toughened myself up, while still being the same sensitive person. I hold things in every time I was hurt by others and things started to pile up and became burdens. I was then filled with hatred and lose the innocent mind I once had. Because Mom was no longer with me to soothe my feeling anymore. I also have been independent for so long that I got used to it and often I don’t want to depend on others because I am afraid of disappointment.

I wanted to say how I still miss Mom so very much each and everyday. That Mom will always be the best mother in the world for me, as I often used to say. That sometimes I like to imagine how my life would be if Mom were still with me. That I have received an enormous love from Mom and always grateful for it.

Now it has been half a year since I started my revolution to eliminate all the hatred that consumed me. I decided to forgive people even when they never apologized because I realized that it will be hard only for me while they who have done me wrong will just continue with their lives without thinking how their actions or words have harmed me. So I decided to let go all those burdens that have been pulling me down. It will be a continuous struggle but I have started. Surely God Don’t Want me to hate anyone so I want to be in God’s Favor.

God has always Been A Great Support for me, Gave me even more than the things I prayed for, and I’m so grateful so Mom don’t need to worry about me. I am still far lacking but I will keep trying to be a better human.

I pray that Mom will always be in God’s blessings. I shall work hard in life, as not to be a disappointment for Mom. I hope we could meet again in the afterlife within God’s Grace and Mercy, with smiles on our faces.

I Love Mom, forever and ever…


Disclaimer: Picture is not mine, all rights belong to the owner.

Mengingat Kebaikan


Alhamdulillah dapet rezeki kemarin, beli nasi telor 10 ribu dikasih telor 2, katanya karena mau nutup. Pas saya tanya apa bener ga rugi nih, katanya ga koq. Saya cuma bisa bilang Makasih. Saya bersyukur. 🙂

Sebenernya kalo mau dilihat sepanjang hidup saya, udah banyak kebaikan orang yang saya terima, kadang juga dari orang yang tidak saya kenal dekat, strangers bahasa kerennya.

Saat ada orang yang menyakiti hati saya, itu membuat saya antipati pada dunia. Namun, mengingat kebaikan-kebaikan sebagian manusia lain, membuat hati saya luluh kembali.

Bahwa bumi ini masihlah tempat yang baik untuk ditinggali. Bahwa saya hanya perlu mengingat mereka yang sudah berbuat baik dan melupakan mereka yang sudah menyakiti. Maka dunia ini akan terasa terang kembali.

Dan besar pula harapan saya bisa menjadi orang yang dikenang kebaikannya dan bukan karena pernah menyakiti. Semoga.


Disclaimer: Picture is not mine, all rights belong to the owner.